WARNING: this will be very incoherent, as psychobabble usually is. I apologize for sounding like a maniac/buffoon.
So, it's 1:30 in the morning, and I'm not in bed. (Nick, if you're reading this, I'm sorry! Time flies when you're watching Youtube clips of figure skating!)
And when it's this early in the morning, I get some really random thoughts, such as:
- I have an irrational fear of my hair dryer exploding in my hand, due to the humidity in the bathroom. Someone please give me proof that this isn't possible.
- Everyone (read: my relatives) has been telling me that I look skinner, and I don't believe them. But today, I was trying on jeans and ended up wearing a 25, which is 2 sizes down from 2 years ago. I'm still at a healthy weight, but now my mother's going to be shoving food into my mouth. Not that she doesn't already. However, I am going to blame this on vanity sizing. Yes, I am stubborn.
- Getting a 102% in Calculus and Vectors seems pretty good right now, but the semester's far from over, and the only direction that mark can go is DOWN. :(
- I also have an irrational fear of some crazy killer coming into our house in the evening and murdering everyone in their sleep. I knew it wasn't a good idea for me to watch all those crazy Chinese dramas... when I was 4.
- OLYMPICS WOOOOOOO! I'm not cheering for a particular team; I just love it when medals are awarded to those who deserve them the most.
- I think, therefore I am - Does that mean that we stop thinking after death? Do we just ...cease to think? Like "omg I'm dying omg om--" ? I've always wondered what happens after death. It's a scary thought. Scarier at 1:32 in the morning. If that's the case, I imagine it would be like a dreamless sleep. But then, we'd just stop... being.
That frightens me immensely. I should stop thinking and go to bed now.
Last semester, in the homeostatis unit of biology, someone asked our teacher, "if your bladder is too full, will it explode?"
His cool response was, "Nope, the urine will go back up into your kidneys, and if that gets to be too much then you'll keel over from the pain long before you notice an explosion of any sort."
I thought the last part was a joke.
Today, I went to a medical examination where I had to drink a litre of water an hour before the test. A litre, you say? That doesn't sound like a lot at all.
BELIEVE ME, IT IS.
When I got there, I sat down and waited for my turn; I could feel my bladder filling up quite rapidly. I sighed and said to myself, "Okay, not much longer", I found the nearest bathroom and promised myself I'd make a mad dash after my exam.
Turns out, that last part wasn't a joke. They were 15 minutes behind schedule, and after a long wait I was put in this rather tiny stall and told to change into a long gown thingy. By that time, I couldn't stand up straight because my kidneys were killing me. Since I didn't have enough room in that stall to hunch comfortably, I stood outside, only to get yelled at by one of the technicians for standing outside.
Technician: "EXCUSE ME MA'AM. WAIT IN YOUR STALL UNTIL SOMEONE CALLS YOU."
Me: *whimpers*
And it didn't help that the guy in the next stall decided to start chatting to me. I probably sounded like I was having a tooth pulled.
So I think I was on the verge of tears when they FINALLY called me in. The first thing I did was tell the doctor "MY KIDNEYS ARE KILLING ME". It's a good thing she let me to go the bathroom to empty some of it out, or else something bad would have happened...
Next time, I'm cheating and only drinking half a litre. :(
I'll admit it: I've always had low self-esteem. I've always been shy, quiet, and doubtful of my own abilities. That's why I was horrible at presentations in elementary school. Absolutely horrible. I was too quiet, and I stumbled over words a lot. And yes, I used to read entire presentations.
I honestly tried not to, but it didn't work. Somehow my eyes would find their way back to the sheet of paper I was holding in front of me.
Somehow, I grew out of that (presentation-wise, anyway); somewhere between grade 8 and grade 10, I started to be more confident in my presenting skills, and obtained good marks for my projects...
...which is why I was absolutely devastated last semester when I got 75% in both presentations we had to do in biology. Grade 12 biology was a course of many firsts: my first time getting below a final mark of 88% in the course; my first time getting less than an 80% on a presentation; and my first time crying at school.
What went wrong? Apparently, I stumbled over words, was quiet, and read most of my presentation. Sound familiar?
That's why I was shocked when I heard that my team came in 5th place at the provincial level for DECA (a business competition)... which meant that we had the chance to go to the international competition (ICDC).
After that, I gained some more self-confidence... 5th place is pretty darn good for only half an hour of practice the night before. :)
Do you have issues with confidence? If so, how do you deal with them?
This is Nick, and to the left is what he looks like as a cartoon. (Although, I drew this a while back and he's gotten a haircut since then.)
Now, how do I describe him? Well, first off, he's lived in quite a number of places: England, Belgium, the US, South Africa, and Canada. As a result of that, he can speak English, Dutch, Afrikaans, German, and French. He also has the most adorable accent. :)
I feel that this picture is a good representation of what we are like in real life. The black cat (me) sees something shiny far off into the distance, and starts to get up in order to chase it. Meanwhile, the orange cat (him) comes and holds the black cat down because that shiny thing is actually a car.
The first time we met was in Grade 9 when our school was getting ready to go to a music competition. I had only heard stories of the legendary Nicholas before... apparently, he sold his soul to a friend in order to get a cheeseburger... because he was hungry. If you ask him, he will tell you that he merely LENT his soul, but that's not what I heard.
We really got to know each other through our part-time jobs as math tutors at the same location. When we were supposed to be marking, we found out that apart from some of our musical tastes (he likes metal, I like cheesy 90s pop... S Club 7 is awesome, okay?), we were really quite similar!
Nick asked me out in March of last year, after apparently 6 months of deliberation. :P Since then, we have been called "attached at the hip". I will have you know that our hips are not actually attached. He's one of the main reasons my 2009 was so amazing, and I feel that I have become a better person since then. I would say that Nick is one of the most comforting and motivational people I know.
This Valentine's Day, we plan to go out for dinner, and then just snuggle and watch a cheesy movie.
Do you have a significant other? What are your plans for Valentine's Day? Share your stories!
Where did you go? I can't believe I let an entire month pass by without blogging. Actually, I can, because January was the most stressful month of my life yet.
Since they say a picture is worth a thousand words, here's basically what has happened since the last time I blogged:
I celebrated New Years at a Thai restaurant with my boyfriend (those of you who asked me to tell you more about him... I'm workin' on the blog post. :P)
Spent the night at his house, the lovely Milo posed for pictures
The first day of exams, so naturally, I procrastinated and took pictures
Girls' night. Posing and stuff, because we're cool like that. I'm the one with the awesome hat.
Shiying came over! (This is an old picture because she hates the camera)
In addition to that, I :
- applied to university and wrote a bunch of supplementary applications
- finished my Model United Nations position paper... and edited and wrote other people's papers.
- and got accepted to one of the programs I applied for!
EDIT: For everyone that asked, I got into the Medical Science program at UWO
So all in all, I'd say this is a pretty good start to the new year!
How was your January?
